


People on the Edge of Night

by pandorabox82



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-12
Packaged: 2018-02-03 16:10:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1750670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorabox82/pseuds/pandorabox82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First Kevin had left. Then Emily. All the pressure lately was getting to be too much for Penelope. But who can she turn to in her time of need? And will he be the one that she's been waiting for all her life?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Penelope stared at the pictures on her desk. It was all she had left of Emily, and she found she couldn't tear her eyes away from her friend. Sure, they had found her replacement quick enough, even though Strauss had been on their side in voicing her opinion that they should wait to find someone else to fill the void Emily left. Hell, she had even suggested that Anderson join their team, which would have been perfect, he'd worked with them for eight years now, and knew the routine. But no, they just had to bring Alex in. They just had to pick the one person who looked like Emily at first glance, what with her fall of long dark hair.

Sighing, she pushed back from her desk and stepped out into the bullpen. Everyone had gone home for the evening, or so it seemed, and she stared at the space where Emily's desk was. Now it was hers, Alex's, and it just felt wrong. Everything felt so wrong. First Kevin had made it quite clear that he had moved on, and in less than three months. Then, Emily had left, claiming the pressure was too much for her to bear. But she went to fucking Interpol, Interpol! Where the pressure was about a million times worse than what they dealt with, and on a smaller budget.

Burying her head in her hands, she turned and leaned against the railing, unable to look into her memories any longer. "Penelope?"

She looked up into the concerned face of her boss. "Hi, Hotch. What are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be out with Beth?"

A quick flash of hurt passed over his face and she reached out, resting her hand on his upper arm. "We…broke up last week."

"What? Why? You guys seemed so perfect together."

"We just didn't mesh well. We got into an awful fight about how much time I spend here, with you all. I guess, in the end, she turned out to be like Haley, unable to deal with what I do. I was really falling for her."

Penelope sighed in tandem with him and reached up to pat his cheek. "The heart moves on without us realizing it, and then something happens to pop the bubble around us. I still haven't moved on from Kevin. I don't know if I ever will." She looked away from him to stare at the pocket on his suit coat. "I miss having someone to hold me when I have a nightmare."

"What about Morgan?" he asked gently, leading her into his office.

"He's my best friend, not potential lover material, unfortunately. You'd think, what with the chemistry we have, that we'd work out perfectly. Tried it, once, and it ended in disaster. I'm small and he's, well, God blessed him." They sat down on his low sofa and she wrapped her arms around herself. "And that's probably more than you ever wanted to know about either of us. I'm sorry. The filter isn't working too well these days, either."

His arm came to rest around her shoulders and she felt a sad smile spread across her face as she leaned into his body. "One of the things I've always admired about you, Penelope, is your honesty and frankness."

"Why couldn't Beth see that you are such a prince?" she murmured lowly, only to feel his lips touch the crown of her head. "I miss Emily."

"We all do. Alex hasn't had the time to fit into our groove yet."

"I don't think she ever will with me. I want Emily back. Why did I never notice how much pressure she was under? I should have seen this, what with being so close to her. This was all my fault."

"No, it wasn't, Penelope. She talked to me, a little, when she was having bad days, and this still blindsided me. I think she was looking for an escape and when Easter provided it for her, she jumped with arms wide open." He sighed and began to stroke her hair absently. She liked the heavy weight of his hand there and unconsciously nuzzled into the touch. Tears began to prickle her eyes and she tried in vain to blink them back. "It's okay to cry, Penelope."

"Okay." She had barely gotten the word out before beginning to softly cry. He rubbed her shoulder and arm, not saying anything as she released her frustration and sorrow. A few minutes passed and finally, she felt somewhat better. "Thank you."

"Would you like to go out for a cup of coffee? Or perhaps a stiff drink or two?"

She pulled away to look up into his eyes. They were stormy and unreadable, and she found herself nodding. "A stiff drink sounds wonderful right now. Shall we?"

He stood and helped her up. "Do you have to grab your purse?" She nodded and together they walked over to her office. Aaron waited by her door while she grabbed her purse and then rejoined him. She smiled as she slipped her hand into the crook of the elbow he held out and they walked out to the elevators.

Penelope was startled to hear girlish giggles come from the direction of Erin's office, and she turned her head to see her and Dave stumble down the hallway over to where they were. "Erin? Rossi?"

She looked up, a deep blush staining her cheeks. "Oh, I didn't realize that anyone else was still here. We were just…"

"Heading home for the weekend." Erin squeaked and moved away from her lover, absently rubbing her hip. "Sorry, honey."

"No, you're not. I don't know why I ever agreed to pick up where we left off." Penelope let out a giggle of her own and Erin smiled at her. "Men. You give them an opening, and they just push their way in the door. How are you doing?"

The real concern in her voice warmed Penelope's heart and she shrugged. "I don't know. Hotch and I are headed out for drinks. I know you can't drink alcohol, but would you like to come with us?"

"Drowning our miseries?"

"Something like that. I really would like it if you came, though." Penelope was surprised at her own boldness, her willingness to spend time with their boss.

"I suppose I have time for one soda. Davie, you don't mind, do you?"

"No, we have all of tomorrow and Sunday to play."

"Thank you!" She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek quickly before stepping closer to Penelope once more. The doors on the elevator opened, and they stepped inside it. The men fell into a conversation about work, which left Erin and Penelope free to talk. "I still can't believe your Mr. Lynch got married already. Is he that desperate to have children?"

"I don't really know. I guess what I knew of him was only what he showed me. I guess I dodged a bullet there." She laughed mirthlessly, and Erin frowned at her.

"You shouldn't joke about what happened to you, Penelope. You could have died. I know it's been years since it happened, but it is still my worst nightmare come to life. I've yet to lose an agent, praise God, and I hope that I never do." She reached out and clasped Penelope's hand, squeezing tightly.

Penelope found herself speechless at the sweet concern in the other woman's voice, and so all she could do was nod. The doors of the elevator opened and they stepped out. "Hotch, Erin and I are going to take my car. You ride with Rossi." He nodded and they parted ways. She led Erin over to Esther and got behind the wheel.

She followed the men to a nearby lounge and parked next to Dave. Erin got out and reached for her lover's hand, then holding out her other one to Penelope. She clasped it tightly and they went in. The place was nearly empty, which was surprising, given that is was a Friday night, and they claimed a booth near the door.

Erin sat next to Penelope, leaving the men across from them. "What does everyone want to drink?" Dave asked.

"I'll have an Irish car bomb," Penelope replied, and he just shook his head.

"I'll just have a beer," was Aaron's answer.

"And you know my favorite soda, Dave." He nodded and moved off, putting their order in at the bar. "I wish I could have done more to delay adding Alex to the group. I can tell from your case reports that things are not going well. Is there anything that I can do?"

"I don't think there is at this point, Erin. She's a part of us now, for better or for worse. It's just thrown off our family dynamic so much. Since the bank incident, you've taken the spot of mother to Dave's father."

"Ah, so I'm the evil stepmother. I'm surprised I haven't heard Lady Tremaine being bandied about behind my back." Penelope could tell she was smiling by the way she said the words and she gently pushed her shoulder. "What? Am I wrong?"

"Yes. You're not evil, Erin." She sighed and Aaron looked across the table at her. "What? And I suppose I'm the naïve kid sister who needs to be protected from everything."

"No, I'd say you're the sweet, kind, loving, daughter who wants to heal everyone's hurts." She was startled by Erin's soft words and turned to look at her. "What? You think I don't pay attention to how you act, how you react? I need to know everything about every member of my teams." Penelope reached out and covered the other woman's hand with hers. "Even this gesture goes to show how lovely a heart you have."

"We are going to be great friends, aren't we?" she asked as Dave handed around their drinks. She sipped, shuddering a bit at the bitter taste of alcohol.

"Perhaps, in time." They both sighed in unison and stared at the men. "Dave, tell them the joke you told me earlier."

He began the joke and Penelope relaxed back against the booth wall, feeling content to listen to him.


	2. Chapter 2

True to her word, Erin and Dave left after they had finished their one drink. Aaron went up and ordered them another round and returned moments later with the drinks. "I think we all underestimated her," he said after taking a swig of beer.

"I think so, too. She's really nice." Penelope rested her head on her hand, watching him. "She won't take the place of Emily, but she will always be closer to me than Alex ever can be." She slammed her drink back and started to feel the effects of all that liquor. "Hotch, why does everyone always leave me? What god did I piss off that all my relationships turn to dust?"

"Not all of you relationships turn to dust, Garcia. Look at your friendship with Morgan."

"That's not what I mean, Hotch. My romantic relationships. I have never been able to get close enough to anyone to even consider marriage or even living together. Every time we get too close, one of us does something that spooks me. Like Kevin. It would have been fine had I not known that he wanted to take me away from all of you."

"What?" He took a sip of his beer, staring at her incredulously.

"Yeah, last year, after we'd lost Emily the first time, and JJ was still at the State Department, he actually told me in all seriousness that he wanted to buy a remote farm for us to live on and raise sheep. He totally did not get why I hated that idea."

"Because it would have separated you from the family you've created here. You wouldn't be able to greet Morgan every day with an 'I'll show you a good morning, Hot Stuff', or keep me from becoming too serious."

She felt her eyes well up and quickly took a sip of her drink, not wanting him to see how spot on he was. "You can be quite serious, at times, Hotch. How long have you been profiling me?"

"It's not profiling, Penelope. I just keep an eye out on my team. You all are important to me, and knowing how you all feel and react to situations lets me keep you safe. All of you." He reached out and covered her hand with his. "So, I know what some of your fears are. Besides Morgan, though, you are the hardest member of the team to read."

"What?" She gulped at her drink, wondering what he meant.

"You try to keep people at arm's length by dressing the way you do. You're a self-proclaimed nerd, which further alienates you from the rest of the world. Everything about you, once you look closely enough, screams leave me alone. Yes, you let JJ in, but only so far. There is a hidden you inside you that I don't think anyone has seen. The closest glimpse we've had so far is your play. The anger and sadness you showed that night were very much real and I hate that there is a font of darkness in your otherwise bright soul."

"Someone has to be perpetually perky for you guys. If not me, then who?" She hated that her voice quavered a little as she said that, knowing it gave him further insight into who she really was.

He nodded, reaching out for her hand. "That is why you're such an important part of our team." She blushed lightly and clasped his hand. It had to be the alcohol talking, she tried to tell herself, he could never be so open otherwise. "Do you want to get out of here?"

"O-okay." They finished their drinks and Hotch settled their tab before she could even think about getting money out of her purse. Holding out his arm to her, she slowly slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow, letting him lead her out of the bar.

"Jessica has Jack for the evening. You could come in for a few minutes after you drop me off."

The open invitation startled her, and she drew in a sharp breath. "That might be nice." She stepped closer to him as the made their way to her car. "Though I think we should take a turn around the block before I drive. I'm still feeling a little dizzy from the alcohol."

"Sounds like a plan." The summer night was warm, but she still enjoyed the body heat that Aaron threw off. It was easy to snuggle into his side, to find out that she fit perfectly there, as if their bodies had been made for each other. And that was seriously dangerous territory for her brain to travel through. He was her boss, and even if Erin was in a relationship with Dave, it did not mean that she could overlook it elsewhere in the team.

They walked at a leisurely pace, the sounds of the city at night bringing about a certain peace to her heart. At some point, his arm moved to rest around her waist, and she once more relished the heavy weight of him on her. "I've missed this," she murmured.

"I have, too."

The tender admission tugged at her heartstrings, and she sighed. "This is kind of dangerous territory we're finding ourselves in, Boss Man. Is there any way to safely navigate through the pitfalls we could face?"

"Three steps ahead, as usual."

"I have to be. Kevin kind of killed the spontaneous part of my heart." She pursed her lips a little and breathed in deeply through her nose. "It's been a long time since I've been held. Like I told you, I miss that, a lot. Do you think you could get used to that?"

There was a long pause as they rounded the last corner towards her car. "I can." She smiled widely and unlocked her car. "It just might take some time to get used to holding onto you. And, if you don't mind, I'd like to keep our relationship, if this turns into that, under wraps from Jack. He'd gotten attached to Beth, and I know that this will hurt him, knowing that we're not together anymore. I don't want him to get confused at my seeming to jump into another relationship."

She nodded as she climbed behind the wheel. "Of course, Aaron, I understand completely. Jack needs stability in his life." Penelope started her car and drove to his apartment, listening to the careful directions he gave.

"Take my spot," he said as she pulled into the drive of his apartment complex. She nodded and again followed his directions back to his building. Once she'd parked, he got out of the car and went over to her side, opening the door for her and holding out his hand. She clasped it and used his leverage to pull herself up and out of the vehicle.

They were silent on the walk to his building and then up to his apartment. "I've never been to your home, Aaron."

"Only Beth and Emily have been to my home, Penelope." He opened the door and ushered her inside, quickly tapping in the security code. "So, where do we go from here?"

"I don't quite know. I suppose we should be honest with each other about our pasts. I've slept with a lot of men, when I was underground. Thank God I insisted on always using condoms, so I'm clean. I even made Kevin use condoms, since I was not ready to have a kid with him. And you?"

"Haley, Emily, and Beth."

"Oh." She felt small suddenly, as if her past would be a major stumbling block between them.

"We all make decisions that make us who we are, Penelope." He caressed her face and she looked up into his face in time for his lips to come crashing down on hers. She whimpered a little, loving the way he claimed her so fully with just a kiss.

"That was wonderful," she murmured once he'd let go of her. Instinctively, she hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go of him or that moment they were sharing. Penelope yawned deeply, nuzzling her face into his chest.

"Would you like to head to bed now?" His question was gentle and she nodded, letting her hand search out his to clasp. He led her into a heavy, masculine, bedroom and she sat on the bed, looking up at him. "Would you like a t-shirt of mine to wear?"

"That would be nice." As he rummaged about in his dresser drawer, she shrugged off her cardigan and began to unbutton her blouse. By the time he had turned back around, she was down to her bra and panties, and she couldn't help but notice how his eyes were drawn to her cleavage. "You can touch if you want, Aaron." She smiled beguilingly at him and he shook his head.

"If I touch now, I'll want to go farther tonight. And I really just want to cuddle with you tonight, if you don't mind."

Her smile widened as she nodded. "I'd really love a cuddle night, Aaron." She slipped on the shirt, breathing in his scent as it wrapped around her body. The fit was snug, as she knew it would be, and his eyes were once more drawn to her chest. Pulling back the sheets, she crawled in and waited for him to join her.

Aaron carefully fitted his body around hers, and she loved that she could feel the evidence of his arousal against her leg. "Are you comfortable?"

"Very." And she was. She felt protected and cared for, and she wondered how long this relationship would last. In her heart of hearts, she wanted it to be forever.


	3. Chapter 3

Penelope woke up early the next morning, stretching into the warmth that surrounded her. Blinking open her eyes, she saw that she was wrapped in Hotch's arms and she groaned lowly, touching her forehead. The previous night came rushing to the front of her mind and she blushed as she snuggled back into his chest.

She could feel the moment he woke up and she turned in his arms to be able to watch him. "Good morning, Aaron."

"Morning, Penelope." He leaned in and kissed her softly and she returned the kiss, trying to ignore the morning breath taste they both had. It was their first good morning kiss, after all, and she wanted to impress the memory on her brain, since she didn't know when the next one would come. They broke apart and she smiled at him, reaching up to caress his face.

"What time is Jack coming home?" she asked, running her hand down his back.

"Jessica usually drops him off about nine. Do we have time to have breakfast?"

She looked over his shoulder at the clock and nodded. "Yeah, it's only half past seven. Are you going to make me something?"

He nodded. "I'll do that while you take a shower?"

"Sounds like a plan, Aaron." She got out of bed and knelt, picking up her clothes off the floor. "Where's the bathroom?"

"Oh, right, I didn't tell you. The door across the hall." She nodded and darted out of the room. Slipping behind the bathroom door, she took a deep breath, peeling off Aaron's t-shirt and setting it on the counter. Then she finished stripping and stepped into the shower. The water felt lovely against her skin, but she realized that the only soap available was his. Blushing, she wet a washcloth and lathered up with his soap. In her mind's eye, she pictured Aaron running his hands up and down her body.

Catching herself, she turned down the temperature on the water and finished washing, trying to make her thoughts more G-rated. After rinsing her body off, she turned the water off and stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her body. Drying off, she slipped back into yesterday's clothes, shaking out the wrinkles.

She made her way to the kitchen, breathing in the delicious scent of bacon and eggs. "I haven't had bacon in so many months. Kevin ate it on doughnuts all the time and it just turned my stomach."

"That was pretty disgusting. I hope his wife grows accustomed to that."

She giggled as she took a seat at the table. "One can only hope." He set a plate down in front of her before sitting next to her. They ate quickly and then she found herself staring at him across the table. "I should probably get going. I had a wonderful night, even if nothing happened."

He nodded and stood, coming over to her side. "I'll see you at work Monday."

"What about your car, though? Is someone going to pick you up?"

"No, I'll have Anderson run it by the house in a few hours." She nodded and accepted his hand, standing and hugging him tightly. "Do you want to make this a Friday thing? We could head out to dinner, maybe a movie once in a while…"

"I would like that, Aaron. I really would." She leaned up and kissed him once more, wrapping her arms around his neck to hold him close. "Don't be a stranger, my office is always open to you."

He nodded and opened the door to the apartment. "That sounds nice, Penelope."

She would never get used to the way her name sounded on his lips, and she giggled a little as she let go of him to step out into the hallway. "Until we meet again, Aaron." Turning on her heel, she took off before she could further embarrass herself. By the time she reached her car, her pulse had almost returned to normal.

The drive back to her apartment passed by in a blur and she found herself parking with no real clue of how she had gotten home. Penelope felt a silly grin cover her face as she climbed the stairs to her apartment. The moment she was inside, she collapsed on her couch, staring at the ceiling, thinking of what her future would be. Somehow, she knew that Aaron would be okay with her not wanting to jump into marriage. He knew how long she had dated Kevin without the further commitment of moving in with him or buying a place together.

In the end, it had been the best thing, since he had decided that her hang-ups were not worth sticking around for. Sighing, she closed her eyes and began to daydream. Very quickly, she pictured herself making a future with him and Jack, making a forever with them. That scared her, since she had never seen that with Kevin, even though she had loved him dearly. Had she somehow known that he wasn't her forever?

Shaking her head, she rolled onto her side and flipped the television on. Turning to the Japanese channel, she immersed herself in the culture she loved so. After her favorite drama had finished, her phone rang and she picked it up, smiling when she saw his name on the display. "Hey, I thought we weren't going to talk until Monday."

"I thought the same thing until I really thought about it. Jack will be here in a few minutes, but I wanted to talk to you. I feel like we left on weird terms."

She laughed lightly. "Hotch, this is going to be weird for a while. We haven't really cemented where things are headed, but that is totally okay. I kind of like not knowing, or having a plan. There's a certain freedom about that."

"And that is precisely what I don't like. I like having boundaries, knowing the endgame. I think that's what bothered Beth, too."

Penelope twirled a piece of hair between her fingers. "I can deal with your fussiness if you can deal with my spontaneity. We could balance each other out, you know, in the long run."

"That sounds like the perfect deal. I'll talk to you on Monday?"

"Or any other day that you want to call. My ear is always open to you and the others, you know that."

"I do." They hung up and she sank back on the couch, turning the television off. The noise bothered her and she wanted to focus on her and her feelings. Sighing, she stretched out on the couch, staring up at her ceiling. She was unable to keep herself from giggling madly, even as her phone rang once more.

"Calling so soon, Aaron?" she asked somewhat breathlessly.

"Sorry, I think this is the wrong Erin." She smiled widely at the sound of their Section Chief's voice, a remaining giggle escaping her lips. "So, did you have a good evening?"

"We talked and then fell asleep. It was nice to be held and have no expectations of something more, you know?" Penelope wasn't quite certain why she was opening up to the woman, but she felt free enough to do so.

"I do know how that feels. After David and I reconciled, that was how we spent our first night together. Alan hadn't held me close in years, and I didn't know how I craved that sweet type of caring." The was a soft hesitancy in her voice, and Penelope sighed a little, wishing that she could comfort the woman somehow. "Anyway, I was calling to see if you wanted to head out to a late lunch, just the two of us. David says that I should get to know his team a little better, and he suggested starting with you."

"I would actually love that. Where do you want to meet?"

"I was thinking Paasch? They have a wonderful menu."

"All right, I'll meet you there in about an hour."

"Thank you." Erin hung up without saying goodbye, and Penelope shook her head slightly, setting the phone aside as she sat up and looked down at her outfit. It was a bit too casual for a restaurant like Paasch, and so she got up and went over to her bedroom, pulling out one of her more dressy ensembles and changed quickly.

Smiling at her reflection, she smoothed her skirt before heading into the bathroom and quickly running the brush through her hair and refreshing her makeup. After picking up her purse, she slipped her lipstick inside and then made her way over to the door, grinning slightly at the prospect of digging up dirt on Rossi. After all, a girl's afternoon could reveal so much.


End file.
